The recipe

Love, empathy, and lots of laughter is a good recipe for life as a person, a mother, or a wife. — Janan Dorris

Get to Work

My mother said, "If there is a job to be done, just get it done." Example: You hate unloading the dishwasher. The dishes are sitting there all nice and clean. What good does it do to put this off? she'd say. – Emily Passino

Trust your instincts

The decisions that will have the most impact on your life are the ones you will make in a split second. And the only way you can prepare for those is to develop good judgment and learn to trust your instincts. - Rebekah Sanderlin

Homewrecker Brownies

When my grandmother was dying an old friend of hers stopped by often, usually bearing brownies. They were very tasty and we wondered what the old lady was really up to, as she spent more time talking to my still-healthy and once very handsome grandfather than visiting with my dying grandmother. At one point my grandmother even asked us point-blank, "Is (name withheld) still out there? That old vulture can't wait for me to die so she can take my husband!" Years later I found the very-same brownie recipe, with the old vultures name written at the top, tucked in with some of my grandmother's favorite recipes. So, without further ado ...

Homewrecker Brownies

Cream together
1 stick Oleo (or margarine)
1 cup sugar
Add 4 eggs
1 cup plain flour
1 can Hershey's Syrup
nuts are optional

Pour into a greased 15x10x1 pan and bake for 25 minutes. (temperature isn't given, but most brownie recipes call for 350 degrees.)

Topping:
6 Tbsp Milk
6 Tbsp Oleo (Margarine)
1 1/3 cup sugar
boil for one minute then add
1/2 cup of chocolate chips
spread topping on brownies.

Always Dance

Never turn down a man who asks you to dance. It takes a lot of courage to walk across that floor, it's three minutes of your life, and dancing is more fun than standing. — Kay West

Contentment

My mom always told me, "Happiness is not the fulfillment of what you want, but contentment with what you already have. You will be a miserable person if you are always lamenting about what you DON'T have instead of being thankful for what you DO." That has always been great advice. — Debbi Kelly

Talent is not an STD

"Talent is not sexually transmitted." — Tina Fey

(In other words, go with a guy because he treats you well, not because he is talented, successful, creative, etc. You won't become more talented, successful, creative, etc. just because you're with him — so what's the point?)

Nobody likes The Good Idea Fairy

For smart people, good ideas are a dime a dozen. The difference between just having ideas and being successful is being determined and hard working enough to execute them. Just having a good idea and doing nothing about it makes you The Good Idea Fairy. Don't be that. - Rebekah Sanderlin

Choose Truth

When you are given a choice, always choose truth over a lie and honesty over deception. When you take the high road you will sleep better at night. – Caroline Rudy

When your babies get married...

After gaining a daughter or son in law, listen twice and speak once. — Sandy Costello

The three most important things

The important parts of life are God, Love, and Family. With God, all things are possible. With Love, you will understand the meaning of life. With Family, you are never alone. – Cayla Sanderlin

Prepare yourself

As a young woman, prepare yourself to be able to support yourself independently. It will give you freedom then to select who you might choose as a partner. It will give you confidence in yourself. An education is extremely important for a woman. Knowledge can be power when used wisely. – Caroline Rudy

Mind your butts

Do not walk around with a lighted cigarette. – Emily Passino

Live on a budget

Learn how to make a budget and stick to it. If you don't know how, ask for help. — Janell Wilson

Think for yourself

Don't follow the crowd — the crowd often leads to trouble. Be strong enough to be the only one to say 'NO!' if necessary; but you might be surprised. If you speak up first, you may have several standing right there beside you. — Monica Greenway

Mind your glassware

It’s an old sorority girl trick, but you’ll look more ladylike if you drink from a stemmed glass, such as a wine glass. Don’t be prissy about it – it’s okay to drink beer from the bottle – but when you know you want to look like a lady, drink whatever you’re drinking out of a wine glass. — Rebekah Sanderlin

Make-up 101

Always pluck your eyebrows and wear mascara. It’s a surprisingly effective way to look made up even when you’re not. — Rebekah Sanderlin

Just sleep

You don't need drugs (medication), you need rest. — Kelly Wright

Prayer

Pray with an open mind and an open heart and, nine times out of 10, God will give you a loud and clear answer. — Rebekah Sanderlin

The season of life

Be grateful for the "season" of life you are in.  I have often said "oh someday" and that is today. 
And always be nice to those who are ignored by others.  It will always pay off somewhere down the road. — Kim Roberts

Just do it

Who cares what these people think? We’ll probably never seen any of them ever again anyway. — Laura Mitchell

Pick a leader

Nothing gets done when you have too many chiefs and not enough Indians. — Laura Mitchell

Don't second guess yourself

Once you make a decision, don't second-guess yourself. I actually sometimes say this to myself when getting on an airplane. No point in worrying about this one crashing! A decision is a decision! Whether it's a major fork in the road or just some inconsequential choice, second-guessing can keep you from making that choice be a successful one. – Emily Passino

No rain, no rainbow!

Count your blessings when you start feeling sorry for yourself.  Consider the incredible gifts we have been given. Sure, there are awful times we have to deal with.  So deal with them, offer them up to the Lord; and move on. Be thankful you're tough enough to handle the hard times. No rain, no rainbow! My mother used to say, "Everybody else is tired of hearing you complain.  Get over it."  – Janan Dorris

Leave wanting more

My great aunt always said "leave wanting more" I was never sure what that meant when I was younger, but as I grew up I realized it means leave a party before you are the last guest left and leave a wonderful date before they know all of your secrets — in other words: Leave wanting more of what you enjoy and make others always want more of your time. — Valerie Allison

For Sarah and Rachel

In 2004 my aunt Gail died after years of suffering from lupus. Her two daughters, Sarah and Rachel, were only 14 and 11 years old at the time. Even worse, Aunt Gail died on the morning of the very day that we buried my grandmother. Sarah and Rachel lost their mother and a grandmother just days apart.

They are women now and their father, Jim, has done a beautiful job raising them. He is to be commended. But every now and then I think of something wise my mother said to me, much of it during my teen years, and I am reminded that Sarah and Rachel didn't get to hear that sort of advice.
Last year, on the eve of Rachel's graduation from high school, I had an idea for a guide book of sorts. It would be a collection of female wisdom, something I could give to Sarah and Rachel to, in some tiny way, make up for them not getting to hear those words from their own mother. Many of my friends pitched in and offered their own mom-wisdom, sharing things their mothers and grandmothers told them, and things they plan to tell their own daughters. And, since we all can learn from each other — and each other's mothers — I hope that others will share their mom-wisdom here, too.

This blog is for Sarah and Rachel. I love you both and I know your mother is smiling down on you today, just as proud and pleased as she can be.